Leadership, a path to authenticity

Brené Brown once said, "True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are." This profound insight captures the essence of authentic leadership and coaching, which pivot on the axis of self-awareness and genuine connection. Leadership, at its core, is not merely about guiding others; it begins and ends with self-leadership—knowing, appreciating, and leading oneself with authenticity and agility.

Leadership Speaker

Leadership is your ability to positively influence yourself and others toward shared goals. This influence requires a level of authenticity that few leaders have truly discovered or developed. Authenticity in leadership combines self-fullness—understanding and maximizing one’s unique personality—and agility, the capacity to adapt and connect with others effectively.

Leadership is fundamentally an inside job. You can't lead others until you can lead yourself. This internal leadership demands courage to explore and accept who you are, delving into your personality’s depths.

For instance, in a recent group coaching session with senior executives, one leader realized that their reluctance to delegate stemmed from a deep-seated need for control, linked to a perfectionist personality trait. By recognizing this, they began leveraging their detail-oriented nature to create clear frameworks, allowing their team to take ownership without feeling micromanaged.

Many equate authenticity with "being true to yourself," but this requires more than just self-expression; it requires an awareness and management of your personality to influence yourself effectively. Leaders who simply "say what they think" without considering the impact on their team often struggle to build trust. Instead, great leaders balance self-expression with emotional intelligence, ensuring their authenticity serves the collective goal.

Great leaders recognize that leadership is about influencing others toward shared goals. They help individuals realize their potential by acknowledging and leveraging the diversity within their personalities.

Another great coaching moment was when a manager changed how they gave feedback. They thought a team member was disengaged, but they realized the person just needed more autonomy. Instead of giving strict directions, the manager started asking open-ended questions. This small change helped the employee feel more motivated and improved their performance.

Authenticity is about discovering, embracing, and developing the full capacity of your personality and using that to help others do the same. Leadership doesn't require changing into something you aren’t; it requires growing more fully into who you are.

Inclusion goes beyond diversity. It’s about including and leveraging individual qualities toward the organization’s larger goals. People want to be included and to contribute to something meaningful, ideally in ways that maximize their unique traits and personalities. Learning about personality differences isn’t about finding the positives in people who are different from you but embracing that diversity within yourself first and then connecting with others.

Most conflicts arise from a gap between what we want and what we get. Conflict generates energy, which can manifest physically or emotionally. While conflict isn’t inherently bad, the energy it produces can be destructive if not managed properly. Many leaders practice "safe honesty," telling the factual truth without risking their own vulnerability. Real honesty, however, involves engaging with our emotional responses and motives.

Trust is crucial in leadership. It is influenced significantly by our personality. People tend to trust those who share their perceptual filters and motivational drives. However, building trust requires moving beyond personal definitions and adopting personality-specific behaviors depending on the person you are interacting with.

Self-full leadership is about taking care of our motivational needs so we can show up authentically and energetically. Servant leadership focuses on serving others and the greater good, but this is only sustainable when leaders are healthy and motivated themselves. Meeting our needs first enables us to connect more authentically with others, setting a positive example for those we lead.

Leadership is a way of life, beginning with self-awareness and extending to influence others through authenticity and empathy. Embracing and leveraging personality differences within ourselves and others, building trust, and practicing real honesty are key to effective leadership. By fostering self-fullness and agility, leaders can create inclusive environments where everyone can contribute their unique strengths toward shared goals.

The best leaders don’t seek to be perfect; they seek to be fully themselves—while continually adapting to bring out the best in those around them.